Sometimes exploring off the beaten path can take you further than the usual trail.
It’s strange being a role model to others sometimes. It adds pressure to the goals I want to achieve and how I want to achieve them. I feel that chasing after my dreams via untraditional methods may seem ‘bad’ in others’ eyes and therefore, I feel guilty for potentially leading others down the wrong path.
However, I’ve learned that someone else’s success does not determine my own. Doing the exact same as another will not equate to my own greatness. In fact, if that was the case, the struggle wouldn’t be real.
My current situation: I’m in my 4 1/2 year of college (I’m staying an extra semester due to my double major and I’ve had to attend another community college at the same time to finish early.) I completed both my senior seminars at the same time and the rest of the classes I’m taking now are just the ones I’ve managed to avoid throughout my college career.
In essence, I’m burnt out (and it’s only the second week of school).
To be honest, I’ve had a hard time taking school seriously lately. Everything I’m learning is already second-nature to me for the most part. I admit I don’t know everything but I know enough to know that I’m not meant to be here right now.
On the first day of classes, my professors asked what my dream job is and my answer was: what I’m doing right now, content creating. Nothing makes me happier than losing myself in creative freedom. This is enlightenment and this is where I believe my calling is.
Sitting in class, taking notes and listening to lectures is not where I want to invest my time when I’ve already invested so much of it, but I’m still doing it since I’m so close to graduating.
School is not my first priority. In fact, I’m tired of it getting in the way of career opportunities.
Every blogger event, every business or networking opportunity always falls on a school night. I’ve sacrificed so much to make sure that I don’t fail my classes that I feel like I’ve stripped away potential growth in my career.
What if I went to that event? What if I met that person? What if I went to NYFW with BCBG? I have so many regrets over these moments. I still hit myself over the head to this day for playing it safe so often and for depriving myself of fulfilling my own passion.
Realistically, I can get a D in all of my classes and still graduate.
My GPA doesn’t matter since I’m not going to grad school. (This is because I want to make it easier on my parents with sending my siblings off to school and I don’t need to spend x-grand on writing and talking.)
I’m not here to say that school SHOULDN’T be your priority but your goals for yourself should be, and if that includes school then good for you! But I’m in the position on complacency.
The classes I’m taking are meant for senior seminar and the real world, which I’ve already been done with.
At this point, I’m working backwards and although yes, it’s good to relearn things and practice makes perfect but I’m tired. God, I’m tired of memorizing things only to forget them, doing busy work for the sake of doing it and making a website every damn semester.
I don’t want to be repetitive when it comes to learning. I want to move forward. I want to know more and experience more, hell, fail more too if that means growing more.
It’s my last semester. I’m so close yet so far away from graduating. I’m terrified but I’m scared of the real world too. As much as I am, I’ve never felt more ready.
Sacrifices have to be made in order to be happy and successful. I’ve had to stop investing my time in the communities I loved but didn’t contribute to my current career-goals. It was bittersweet but was the step I needed to maximize my progress.
If sacrificing parts of school feels right to you, whether that means skipping class every now and then for a huge networking event or styling at NYFW, then do it. If sacrificing sleep to do what makes you happy, then do it (with moderation, of course). If sacrificing gas and having to commute to the job of your dreams, then do it.
In the end, your sacrifices will always be paid back by the fulfillment you reach within your passions. Too many times do we get sucked into mundane tasks and end up dreading every morning. Too many times we get caught up in doing what we need to do for money, to survive, but doing what we love is considered an indulgence and it shouldn’t be.
Do what makes you happy and the money will always follow.
Dress and backpack via Dresslily / Shoes via Ang Studio
Ps. I’m in love with rings and strings in every form possible and this Dresslily dress hits the spot. It’s an effortless look for all my lazy days, which is literally my favorite trend ever. I love the shorts that come with it too. They hug me in just the right places.